The Legends of Zelda Battle Zone
by Cerena Montanyu
Summary: What happens when Pokemon and Zelda collides? You have The Legends of Zelda Battle Zone! Each week (if I feel like it) me and some other guest will comentate on a match between two Zelda characters, and you, the readers, votes who wins! It's done in HTML,


LOZ Battle Zone!  Author's Note: What? You thought that my humor days were over? NEVER! For I've got here what I think will be one of the most beloved series of all time: "The Legends of Zelda Battle Zone"! Where, you, the readers, will vote who wins and who loses, and your reason why someone would win/lose could very well end up as part of the "Viewers opinions"! So, at the end of each fic, I'll tell you the next contestents, and you'll vote! Fun, no? 

~*~

Title: The Legends of Zelda Battle Zone 

Authoress: Crestaria 'Cerena' Montanyu 

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** Cerena: Hi peoples! *Waves* Welcome to the first ever LOZ Battle Zone! Today's fight should be interesting, please give a big hand for King Zora and Navi, the contestants! **

King Zora: Forget that, where are those hotdog stands? 

Audience: *Half-heartedly cheer* 

Navi: HEY!! I'M GONNA WIN! LISTEN! I'M GONNA WIN! LOOK! I'M GONNA WIN!!! 

Audience: *Crickets chirping in the background* 

Cerena: Erm... Anyway, I have one of the craziest, wierdest,and funniest Zelda authoress with me here today to help me commentate! PLEASE GIVE A BIG HAND FOR GALAXY GIRL!!! 

Audience: *Cheers so loudly that the nearest hot dog stand explodes*

Galaxy Girl: YOU LOVE ME!!! YOU REALLY LOVE ME!!!

Demented Windmill Guy: *Throws exploding newt at GG* GO GG!! *Throws slimy hotdog at Navi, crushing her half to death* GO NAVI!! 

Galaxy Girl: AHH! *Ducks into the announcer's booth* 

Cerena: Well, that guy certainly knows how to compliment a commentator... *Ducks exploding newt and rushes into the booth shaking a fist at the DWG*

Galaxy Girl: EEK!! The DWG creeps me out! ... Forget him, those exploding newts are COOL!!! CAN I HAVE ONE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?!?!

Cerena: Well, not until, *Ahem*, and I quote: *Imitating DWG* "Stupid kid... GOES ROUND AND ROUND... Swing that cow upside down... Princess of Hyrule... GOES ROUND AND ROUND.. AND GETS DIZZYY!!! Eh-heh-heh-heh... OCARINA DIES!! *Smashing sounds can be heard*" And THEN you can get an exploding newt.

Galaxy Girl: *0_o* But that.. Hardly seems necessary!

Demented Windmill Guy: WHO ASKED YOU?!?! THINK ABOUT THE WINDMILLS!! MWUAHAHAHA!!! *Throws another exploding newt at the hot dog stands*

Cerena: NO! NOT MY DARLING HOT DOG STANDS!! NOOOOO!!! SPEAK TO ME!! SPEEEAAAK TO MEEE!!!

Hot Dog Stand: *Ribbits* 

Cerena: *Turns to GG* They're okay. After a sauna in mustard and ketchup, they'll be nice and hotdoggity again! 

Audience: *Cheers* 

Galaxy Girl: HOORAY! But anyway. Back to the fight. Who do you think will win, Cerena? 

Cerena: Why, THE HOT DOGS, OF COURSE!!! Who can resist their hotdoggity taste? (I'll stop with the hotdog jokes, I promise...) But, really. It's hard to say, because Navi can easily annoy the poor Zora King to death. But all the Zora King has to do is somehow relocate his blubber onto the fairy, and SPLAT! Instant winner! 

Galaxy Girl: I think Navi would win. I mean, everyone KNOWS that ZK (Zora King) can crush Navi, but he moves so slow that she'd annoy him to death first! 

Cerena: Well, there's only one way we can settle this... 

Passing Bird: SUPER SLOPPY SLIME-OFF?!?! 

Audience: *Cheers* 

Cerena: No, silly! Viewers' opinions! *Presses red button marked 'fat emus surprise'*

~*~

Princess of the Pixies: Navi, because she is quick, and because fairies/pixies/sprites should always win! 

Blossom Waters: Navi would win, 'cause she's a flying type, and would fly out of King Fatso's way. Also, she could use her annoy attack. [Looks like someone's been watching too much Pokemon...] 

Rhy_Oki: Navi 'cause King Zora's too fat and he couldn't move or do anything, and Navi'd annoy him to death. 

Sailor Zel:Zora King, he'll probably just sit on Navi and smash her into a little puddle of fairy guts. Not very pleasant 

DoomRater: Hm... Navi, due to her fairy magic! 

Chica: Tofu Ninja: King Zora. Want the reasons? One--He's rather heavy. If he accidently sat on Navi....well, no explanation needed. Two--the squeaking of the legs as he moves in utterly unbreable. Three--The worst Navi could to do him would be to nag him to death. But that could happen, it very well could.

Jigglypuff: Navi, since her annoying voice can kill people in one shrill voice 

Akai Ku: King Zora, 'cause he's FAT! [Akai, we still do not see the logic of this.]

Princess ~*Misty Dawn*~ <3 : Hm....Navi, because king zora will fall asleep from listening to her, and then she'd crank out the chainsaw...

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Galaxy Girl: *Burp* Those viewer's opinions were YUMMY! 

Cerena: Sure were! They remind me of Gorditas...

Both Cerena and Galaxy Girl: *Singing the old beloved Gordita commercial jingle* GORDITAS! GORDITAS! FORGET THE REST DO WE!!! SOMETHING SOMETHIIIING! SOMETHING SOMETHIIING! LALALALALALAAAA!! GORDITAS!!! LET'S GO GET SOME NOW! 

Audience: BOO! 

Cerena: *-_-;;;* Um.. Well... LET'S GET ON WITH THE FIGHT!! *Rings the gong, signaling the fight*

Gong: BONG! 

Audience: *Cheers, screaming* FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! 

Galaxy Girl: *Whistles, and Navi and King Zora are let into the arena* AND LOOK AT THEM GOOO! 

Audience: *Still screaming* FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! 

Galaxy Girl: AND KING ZORA MAKES THE FIRST MOVE!!! 

*Everyone waits for King Zora to actually move* 

Cerena: *Pokes King Zora with a ten foot pole* IS HE ALIVE?!

Galaxy Girl: What's that? King Zora opens his mouth... AND OUT COMES A BURP!! HE LIIIIVES!!!

Cerena: MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *Stops when she notices that everyone seems to be staring at her* Ahem.. Navi is knocked backwards by the force of the blast- I mean burp! She seems to be really mad! 

Galaxy Girl: No wonder! I'd be mad too if Pinky and the Brain were using ME as a helicopter!

Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Pinky: I think so Brain, but if we give the peas a chance, wouldn't the carrots get jealous?

Cerena: AND THERE THEY GO!! Navi flies on top of King Zora and bombs him with the two mice! 

Galaxy Girl: OH NO! KING ZORA IS GOING TO... Sleep?! 

Audience: BOO! *Throws radioactive hotdogs at King Zora* 

Princess Zelda: *From audience* I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!! *Transforms into...*

Cerena: OH NO! IT'S CRAZY AXE-WIELDING ZELDA! 

Galaxy Girl *Tries to calm Cerena down* Don't worry! The little men in the green suits and the big lollipops are escorting her out! 

Little men in the green suits and the big lollipops: *Surround the crazy axe-wielding Zelda and throw her out of the arena* WE REPRESENT THE LOLLIPOP GUILD!

Cerena: Whew... LOOK! King Zora is waking up!

Galaxy Girl: Finally!

Cerena: But what's that? Navi is flying towards King Zora, and is looking like she's whispering something into his ear... 

Galaxy Girl: WOW! LOOK AT HIM GO! I didn't know he could move that fast! But what did she say to him anyway? 

Cerena: She said "I see dead people! And they're eating all of the hotdogs in the world!" 

Galaxy Girl: THAT would explain why he's eating every single hot dog in the arena! 

Cerena: *Shaking her fist* HEY YOU! LEAVE MY HOT DOGS ALONE!!! 

Galaxy Girl: IT'S ALL OVER! THE FIGHT IS OVER! King Zora has thrown a hotdog at Navi, which flattens her against the wall! Let's turn on King Zora's microphone to hear what he has to say about his victory! *Pushes button*

Cerena: NO! DON'T PUSH THAT BUTTON! NOOOOOO!!! 

*All of a sudden, a great big blob of GREEN SPANISH INSANITY JELLO *Insert dramatic music here* drops onto Navi* 

Cerena: GREEN JELLO!!! *Tries to run down to the arena to get some*

Galaxy Girl: *Holds Cerena back* Hey! You have to commentate with me! 

Cerena: *Grumbling about how much Green Spanish Insanity Jello costs, sits back down* 

Galaxy Girl WHAT'S THIS?! 

Cerena: *Laughing maniacally* SHE'S ALIIIIIIIVE!! *insert cheap thunder special effect here* 

Galaxy Girl: It looks like that GREEN SPANISH INSANITY JELLO *Insert dramatic music here* really does work! A flattened Navi flies towards King Zora and starts to YAK YAK YAK!!! AHHH!! *Tries to hide behind Cerena* 

Cerena: Let's push the RIGHT button to turn Navi's microphone on to hear what she's saying! *Pushes button*

Audience+Galaxy Girl: NO! 

Navi: HEY! DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE SNAIL THAT WANTED TO NAME HIS CAR 'S'?! LISTEN! IT WAS BECAUSE WHEN HE RACED IT, HE WANTED THE ANNOUNCERS TO SAY "SEE THAT S CAR GO! (escargo=snail in french)" MWUAHAHAHAHAHAAA! LOOK! I'M BILL CLINTON! HEY! WHY?! LISTEN! BECAUSE I'M BETWEEN TWO BUSHES!! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! LOOK! THE SKY IS BLUE! I'VE NEVER SEEN THE SKY BLUE! LOOK! PURPLE MONKEYS ARE INVADING!! LISTEN! DO YOU HEAR THE SOUND OF GRASS GROWING?!? *Dramatic sigh* ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?!? HEY! WHY ARE YOU LAYING ON THE GROUND LOOKING LIKE YOU'VE FAINTED?!? HEY! DID I WIN?!?! HEY! DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I DID I?!?!?! 

Cerena: YEP! THE FIGHT IS TRULY OVER! KING ZORA IS DOOOOWN!!! Hey, where is everybody? *Sees that the audience and Galaxy Girl are gone* Oh well! See you next time on the same SPANISH INSANITY JELLO *Insert dramatic music here* channel and the same SPANISH INSANITY JELLO *Insert dramatic music here* time!! *Walks out with Navi singing the "Gorditas" jingle together* 

Final Scores: Navi: 8 King Zora: 3 

Next battle: Windmill Guy vs. Fishing Guy

~*~ Remember to vote who wins and why! And if you would like to be an announcer/commentator, please review with your name, which battle you'd like to commentate (the next one is taken, sorry) and a brief description of your personality! SEE YA, AND REMEMBER: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME 


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